Well well well.. Mandy's finally changed her blogskin... I apologise for the unprofessionalism... Im not really a pro with blogskins actually.. But i mean, for a non-pro.. It's quite alright eh??? Let me tell you the reason why i chose this clogskin.... Yes.. As some might already known... It's the bloody song....

Ok.. It's like this... I went blogskin c=browsing at BLOGSKINS.COM and suddenly i came upon this skin.. So i clicked preview and the one song that came so god damn loud on my speaker... "Right here waiting" by Richard Marx.... How nice.. It reminded me of someone special... Yeah.. Damn.. I still can't forget him... Yeah.. Maybe cos i really did fall in love for that little while... Haha... But oh wells, shit happens... Anyways, i really got emotional listening to that song they were playing.. Plus i fell in love with that little man there by the side... So bloody cute like nobody's business... So Yeah!! Why waste time looking for another when im happy with this? So VIOLA~ I chose this skin for my blog... Damn... I mean, i noe.. I've always hated blogs with stupid songs that play non-stop while you're reading.. I used to always close the damn browser even before i start reading.... But please!! Ok.. If you guys cant stand the song.. Tell me and ill change the god damn skin again... =) Okay??? Haha....

Yupps... Oh.. And i deeply apologise for my stupid tag board which dunno for what god damn reason the thingy become all black and you cant see what you type at the message area... Sorry ah.. Im still working on it.. But im too lazy to go to e website to correct it.. Bear with it ya? Until i got the mood to correct the problem... =) Pls tag!!! If you dun, ill die of pathetic-ness and ill die thinking you all dun CARE!!! =(

Haha.. Nah~ Im just joking... Im not some desperate for attention bitch lah.. Okay.. maybe i am.. SO!?!?!? SUE ME!!! Well, school's gonna start soon... And i've already start panicking... But i dun seem like it eh? Trust me.. You wouldn't wanna be my brain now... I have so many bloody homework not done and if i dun do it quick.. I think ill get screwed over even before first day of school ends... And if my mom ever found out i haven't do ANYTHING!!! She'll kill me.. cos she's been asking me to do my h/w and all i said was "Do alr lah.. Finsh ALL alr..." Oh crap... Sue me! No really.. I mean it... I'd rather end up at jail than await for my doom in school!!! Oh shit.. Mdm ong gonna screw me upside down... A maths!! Effening kookheaded poot!!! Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!

Ok.. When i come up with words like kookhead??!? You know im really stressed.. Ok.. Dammit... I think ill go watch some tv later... wait!!! WAT AM I SAYING!?!!??! Im s'ppose to go do some h/w.... Hmmmmm, procrastination.. Well, works for me!!! =) Life's too short to worry bout h/w... I think i shoudl only worry about how many programs there is later between the time of 5.30pm and 6.30pm.... =) Woooo! Justice league!!! My brothers are crazy over that cartoon show.. And so is some other guy friends of mine... Damn! What so nice about seeing paper characters fighting crime in tightfit costumes??? And my brother loves wonder woman... Urgh.. Wtv... It's stupid... SPONGEBOB is soooooo much nicer.. And so is kim possible.... =) Notice Kim possible always wears the same suit?!?! I think she got one whole shop of that exact same costume... Haha... Call me beep me if you wanna reach me!!!!

Mandy's top ten favourite cartoon shows :
1)SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!
2)KIM POSSIBLE
3)WILD THORNBERRIES
4)HEY ARNOLD!
5)Lion King
6)Popeye
7)Jimmy Neutron
8)Fairly Oddparents
9)Mr Bean
10)Ma-me-mo

WHAT?!?!? Can't i like cartoon shows?!?! Ok.. maybe number 10 wasn't really my favourite... I couldn't think of anything else.. Other than carebear and that.. So obviously i use THAT right??!?!?? Wth is up with CARE BEAR man?? They are effing lame!! Stupid bears... Okok.. Moufie like bears... Oh which remind me.. I could have put winnie the pooh and friends.. But too bad... Its over.. I dun really like pooh anyways.. Sorry moufie... No offence... =)

Ok.. I think i've done enough blogging for one day.. Good day to all! Ciao!

Today, marks the birth of a very SPECIAL man in my life... Yes.... WILSON LOW KIAN MUNG!! We grew up together... We fight like our life depends on it time to time... We NEVER praise each other out loud... But y'know what? He's really special to me... He's the only brother that stuck with me for 15 years straight and never turn his back on me.... Lol.. I call that BLOOD BROTHER!! Haha.. Im using "beng's" language now.. Haha... Okok.. Back to the point.... From the bottom of my heart i wanna wish my older brother, Wilson Low, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Gosh, where will i be without him? I will be that fat girl in school getting bullied by the jocks! Haha... It's my brother that taught me how to protect myself... And if you have to know where i learn all the violence?? It's from TV and HIM!

Y'know? It's nice to have a brother.. Ok.. It's nicer to have TWO brothers... My whole life i've been having brother(s), and unlike the others, i have NEVER wish i have had a sister instead... Cos then i wouldn't be who i am now... I would be way too into my hair to even bother about whether i have friends or not... And ill be way too whiny to even think for 3 seconds... In other words i will end up being a twit!!! =) So i HAVE to thank my brother... I mean sure! We've been thru fashion disasters (3-quarts,beng-ish caps,no rules tees), we've been thru scaring each other with our worse fear!!! For him it was my saliva!!! Muahahahahaha... For me??? Was a certain tiny insect that i have feared for all my life!!! Gosh! The memories i share with my brother can go on and on... But i prefer to keep it at that....

Bottomline, i love that brother of mine... I dun usually say it... But god dammit IT'S TRUE!!! =) If i dun love him... Then why do i always cook maggie for him and iron his clothes for him when he needs to go out? And why would i spent so much just to treat him to a birthday treat??? When i could just return him that piece of shit he gave me a few years back?? So, all evidence proves that i DO indeed love that ugly piece of crap... SUE ME!! ;) Ok... I think im a tad bit high now.... It's a season to be jolly!!! So lets all be jolly good fellows and wish my brother "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" =)))))))

Ok.. I just dedicated half my post to abangWIL...WTF!??!? He'd better be good to me this whole week cos i can't guarantee what my pms will do..... Muahahahahaha... Ok.. I'll make an effort to be super duper nice to him for ONE day!!! No promises... >) Woooooo! Im feeling evil today!! Cooooool....

Im also feeling rather christmasie today... ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS...... IS A DIGI CAM AND A MP3!!!!! Haha... And durians!! Never ending flow of durians!!!! HAhahahahah.... MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!! Feel happy cos MANDY'S happy!!! OH~ For she's a jolly good fellow for she's a jolly good fellow FOR....... SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW that NOBODY can deny!!! =)

Wow... Im feeling colourful today!!! Better save this post!! It's not very often you see mandy putting so many colours into her words and actually making an effort to make it look a little bit less ordinary.... =)) Sigh.. I miss the happy me.... =) Let me stay... Can we keep her?? Please??? IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!! Per-wee-tee pur-weese?!?!?!??! Haha.... I want me to be happy like this everytime!! Why can't i be like this more often?? Then i wun be so pathetic with so many things on my mind.... Haha... Weeeeee~

Ok.. Let's try VERY hard to keep this post happy!!! Bcos today is my brother's birthday and im not gonna ruin this day by being moody or letting my PMS take control... NO!! No way in hell!!! Oh damn! why am i making such a big deal out of my brother's birthday? Ok.. Maybe that's bcos I LOVE HIM?!?!?!?!?!? Haha.... Shit... I'd better stop saying all this loving thingy or pple will think im really crazy... I mean my whole life!! Only how many times i admit i love that pootface??? And now i've broken record in ONE post!!! Wow.. Im both amazed!!! And freaked out.... I think im getting weaker and weaker.... Nooooooo! *echo*

Ok... I really think im high.... And yay!!!! Im high!!!! Ok... Maybe i really am... So what?!?!? Be jolly!!! Hmmm ,what in the world does jolly even really mean??? Happy??? Oh yes i AM happy!! Sue me!!! =) Good day!!! And if you see my brother!! You better tell him to have a happy birthday or all this will go to watse.... =) I dun mind, REALLY!!! *growls*

*your love is like a river*
*peaceful and deep*

Im still addicted to the song by EVERCLEAR - Wonderful.... Weeee~ Well, Mandy's feeling weird now... But she has nth else to do other then blog.. So she will TRY her best to talk about happy stuff ok?? Haha.. Keep hearing Clarissa's voice saying "Mandy! Do you know a blog is to keep all happy memories so next time when you read it you can rmb how happy you were??" Haha... Funny... It's like she's my inner conscience when it comes to blogging or something.. Lol... Shit..

I dunno why but i got the urge to go clubbing now... Lol.. But i'd wanna go with my bro and clar though... See how the other world works... Haha.. I would like to see my brother get high and embarrass himself tho.. I'll shit my pants laughing... Unless he get into trouble in which i will jump into action and protect my wonderful and only older brother... HA!!!! Piece of crap... And i would wanna see how many guys oogle at the beautiful Clarissa and how many girls will drool over my brother... Then i see them doing sexy dance together then i can laugh til i pee my pants... So most of the time ill be spending in the toilet trying to dry up my pee.. HAhahahaha....

Okok.. Enough of me and my sadistic imagination of me joining them when they go clubbing cos even if you go to the coolest club ever... Going to the club with your ugly younger sister is WAY uncool to cover up for the coolness... Lol.. So i guess it'll never happen.. No worries... I can do it on my own... Fucking get high on my own... Then record the whole procedure and view it with my teddy bear..... Haha... But seriously eh?? How do you think ill be in a club? Ill probably just be drinking my ass off cos i fucking can't dance... Moufie can though but she cant ever enter a club.. Its against her religion i think... =)

Damn.. I think im gonna blog about clubbing this whole entry lah.. Nothing else to talk about anyways... Haha.. One reason why i prefer going with my bro and Clar is bcos if anything happens i have them to back me up.. I mean if i get drunk and high and start making trouble... Haha.. But seeing how my brother have seen me drunk before, i doubt he'll let me go anywhere with high alcohol content... He'll prolly whck me up and send me home without my keys so that when he comes home ill whck him up and we can try to kill each other with ballpoint PEN!!! =) I just love fighting... It makes me tough(on the outside).... Yeah.. But it only makes me weaker on the inside to hurt someone i love.. But well, when anger turns to hatred(in my sense), there shouldn't be more than ONE person in the room with me... Haha.. And no weapons in my hands... Lol.. Ask my brother.. HE'LL KNOW!! =)

I think ill prolly look so fucking dorky in a club that everyone will be staring at me and going "She's with THEM???!?!" Haha.. And ill go, "No... I came alone... Buy me a drink??" Hahaha.. I think i've been watching WAY too much TV.. Its getting to my head... Haha..

Well, i finally got to eat durians last night.. My daddy brought me to Sims ave to buy 6 durians.. Gave 2 to my gramma and we ate 4.. Superdelicious!! =))) My craving for durian is gone for now bcos i stuffed myself with a whole lot of durian last night... Plus Clarissa wanted "TANG YUAN" So we made some and i feel effing bloated.. Damn.... =)

I treated my brother to Cafe Cartel today as his birthday present.. It costed me quite a bit but it was ok lah.. At least i found out one thing.. Their southern chicken thingy is so blardy fucking nice i think i would want it for my last meal on earth if possible... Haha... And i think my brother was in a pretty good mood today bcos he didn't throw his temper at me or gave me attitude like how he would sometimes.... Cos i think i was unusually noisy today.. And making stupid lame jokes... Im surprised he actually laughed a little at my jokes... Thats perhaps why i got the heart to treat him to an expensive meal even though i was as broke as e piggy bank i used to have when i was 4.... =)

It was nice spending time with him and Clar lah.. Before that i met my darlingest Moufie.. And i gave her her present and she gave me mine.. Then Krush joined us for desserts at Secret recipe... And i finally got to eat my CHOCO MOIST CAKE!!!! Weeeeee- OOOOOOOOO- WEEEET!!!! Haha... It was like heaven on earth and i felt like life was worth every chocolate bit of it!!! Oh my gawd!! Thank you secret recipe for giving me the best dessert of my life... =) Then Clar brought Krush's prezzie down and i gave it to her before she left to help out at the mosque... Im glad my loverly Krush is doing a good deed for the society.. =) What a good girl.. I am soooo proud of my darling... Haha... =) She's gonna skin me alive for being so sarcastic.. But hey, i meant those.. She's a wonderful girl... =)

And then she opened it after a couple of hours.. And she said she loved it.. Im glad... Okok.. I was ELATED!!! HAha... I wanted her to love it sooo bad i think i almost went crazy between the time i decided to get that and the time she sms-ed "I LOVE IT!!!".... Haha.. Im just glad she likes it lah... Hope she'll keep it with it forever cos all my sincerity and love is all put in there... She means the world to me... And sometimes i think she thinks she dun deserve what im doing for her.. But now i know how my ex(s) feel when they say they do nice things for me cos they love me... =) Eh!! And mine is true lah! Not like theirs.. Sweet talk... Hahaha....

Hmmm, today something kinda big happened too.. Its quite saddening but i think once again the devastation haven't fully hit me yet.. Or perhaps now i just dun give a shit... Haha... =) Could be..... Could be another reason... I dunch know... NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS ANYWAY!! Haha.. Nah.. jk... Like as if anyone was dying to know... x) Damn... I think my life is er.... just plain ol MY LIFE!!! Hahah.. My life is just my life.. Fuck... I suck at describing my life.. cos these past few months the only thing i've been saying is "Life suck.." Haha.. But now im not so sure.. Maybe my life's dead.. Haha.. Perhaps perhaps perhaps.... +)

GOOD DAY TO Y'ALL!!!

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Your trial period for this game is over. Do you wish to purchase it?
Eff you bloody mofo~

*Isn't it wonderful*
*Wish i could count to 10*
*Smile with all the tears in your eyes*
*I dun believe you when you say*
EVERYTHING WILL BE WONDERFUL SOMEDAY!!

Im quoting everything i hear or see... Haha.. Effing stupid... Im bloody bored at home.. Went to Bradell just now for the whole Sec 1 orientation thing... Haha... Was alright lah.. Quite fun... Everyone was wearing school uniform except me.. DAMN! Lol...

I realise how great Harry Potter is.. I mean it can make everyone talk about it non-stop... I heard that's wat Logen reaction after he read the book... Haha.. Talk about Harry Potter? Guess who's crazy over it now? Aslam.. And we are like browsing thru websites and debating over whats the actual story.. Haha.. Some believe that dumbledore is not dead... Thats its part of a master plan to fool voldermort... Hur.. PLEASE let it be true!! I dun want Dumbledore to die!!! =) And Aslam's making me WAY too obssessed over HP.. Really.. He's been introducing me websites and now i cant stop browsing thru every single detail of evey single website.. Damn..

Well, enough bout HP... Anyways, today had a talk with Moufie.. Felt nice talking to her again... Yah.. We laughed alot.. Talked about our problems.. And i hope she's happy... Dun want her to be stressed and all... Dun wanna see my love ones hurting themselves.... I cant wait to see her again on Friday... And Dek too.. Haha...

Well, im s'pose to go out with my baby and friends on christmas day.. a sunday... I dunno how im gonna convince my mom to let me go.. And not get caught!! Haha... Sialah.. Im so dead. I cant refuse cos my baby will be disappointed.. Shit... I hate it when i have to lie... Hahaha.. NOT!!! I dun give a shit lah.. Maybe only sometimes i lie i get a little tickled by my bloody conscience... But then mind over matter... Haha.. Rubbish... Im not good at lying... AT ALL!!! Believe me... or not.....

*My life is brilliant*
*My love is pure*
*I saw an angel*
*She could see from my face*
*That i was F**KING high*
*And i dunno what to do*
*Cos ill never be with you*
*We share a moment that would last til the end*

Haha.. Bits and pieces from the song by James Blunt-You're beautiful... I like the part where he goes "F**KING high"... Haha.. Ok.. Thats vulgar but i like vulgarities in songs.. Especially in Eminem songs.. I mean Eminem songs w/o vulgarities is like Bolognese without pasta.... Haha...

I should start doing my homework... Its 4pm... I should really get my butt down to do something... Sigh.. Procrastination my friends, is something you wouldn't wanna be aqquaintted with... Not a nice thing to do.. But i've been living with it since my life was filled with homework from school... Haha... Damn.. Im not study material i guess.... But damn.. If i dun continue studying.. I'll be a disappointment to all my family memebers and myself and i wun ever survive out there.. I'll prolly be living with my parents the rest of my life.. Haha...

*When you're little*
*And the world's so big*
*I just dun understand*

Fuck.. Wats up with me and quoting songs lyrics??? Haha... Evergreen's Wonderful... Nice song... Kinda cool... =) Im running out of nice words to say and nice things to talk about.. Damn... Let me think... Hmmm... I think my grandma cooks the best dishes ever.. =) you know what i wanna eat now?? DURIAN!! My uncle said he'll buy until now haven't buy for me!! I WANT DURIANS!! I DUN CARE!! HE SAID HE WOULD!! ARGHHHH!!!! Im really CRAVING for durians... Buy me durians for christmas.. PLEASE!!! Haha...

*I close my eyes and count to 10*
*And hope everything will be ok when i open them*
*I dun wanna hear you say*
*Everything will be wonderful someday*
*I dun wanna hear it over again*
*Someday i hate everything*

I've been in a bad mood with my family recently.. I dunno why... I guess the wall haven't been brought down yet.. So much for me wanting to open up.. Doesn't help.. I duin even do anything.. Cos nobody's really doing anything that helps... Haha.. Oh wells.. Happy stuff!! good day! Bye!!!

Well, today was spend doing absolutely nth at all in Sembawang.. Haha.. those who know should know lah.. Anyways, i feel very very disturbed by one particular thing.. I mean, how the hell can someone who dun really love the other end up being with someone who really loves her but in the end she's thinking about the other person whom she still cannot forget... Oh fuck.. Its complicated.... I dun even understand myself now...

Dammit... I mean, i dunno why the feelings just not there when its SUPPOSE to be there... And today i tot aloooot!! I fucking look out the god damn window and tots of Daniel just came and conquered my mind.. And me, being unprepared, got all moody and i spoiled someone's mood and shit happened... Dammit.. I cant fucking go "OH!! Im thinking of my ex and i love him and i cant forget him...." Cos it'll sound bloody stupid coming out from my mouth seeing as how i know shit that you guys dun.... =) Fuck...

I tell you man... I AM FUCKING SICK!!! I mean really sick as in headache fever kinda sick... Haha... =) You tot i would go sick of blah blah blah!! But no!!! I am sick of saying im sick of all those things that im sick of... Hahah... Sigh.... Jus when i tot my life's slowly getting back on track... How is it that things always go wrong when they getting right?? I mean, FOR ME!!! Oh fuck... I mean i see my friend get back on track in a few months or so, and i??? Mine's drag on for one bloody year.. Haha.. Fucking depression shit... RECOMMENDATIONS PLS!!! Do they have free psychiatrist?? Cos im fucking broke...

Shit.. I just realise im back to using the word fuck.. Gosh.. I mean i still use it lah.. But i dun use it so much in my blog.. But now its freaking too stressed up to not use fuck to vent my anger... =)) Nvm.. Clarissa told me a blog is a memoir to post about your happy times so next time when you read it back you smile... Haha... So i shall blog about more happy stuff in future.. Or maybe i should learn from them and go clubbing oh-so-often and get fucking high.... =) So i can blog about absolutely nth else but how i got high and how i got hangover the next day...

Haha... I dunno how their life can be so high profile on one hand and Dek is telling me that I am high profile... Haha.. Joke of the year... If im high profile.. Pple will be HI-ING me in Orchard road and saying "lets go out sometime yea? i miss you!!.." Haha... Fuck im not high profile... In fact im so low profile i dun even think half the pple i know knows me... Haha.. Ok.. Dunno wat im saying but im just not high profile lah... =))

What else happy things i can blog about... OH!! I just ate one whole chunk of seedless grapes and now my mummy is left with none to eat!! YAY!!! Hahahahahaha... And............ Er....... I can hear my mom reading a lame story book to my brother!!! "I can't get up and i wun blah blah blah..." I reckon its about some lazy boy thats suppose to get up but he refuses so his mom decides to spank his arse and drag him to boarding school and let the pfficers deal with him.. Ok.. That a little over sadistic for a four years old...

Haha... Which reminds me about something Bryan said.. That OLD MAN!!! He went like "EH! I 4 years old already ok!! Im very bigg!! Eh.. I next year K1 alr leh!! Where got smal???" And i went like "EH! I next year secondary four eh!! Bigger than you! So you listen to me!!" And he's like "Aiyah aiyah.. ok lah ok lah.. Sorry lah!" Haha... Kentot... Kids these days are getting way too smart for the sake of god!!! Save the next generation before us! They are soooooo good with words they sound like bloody 15 year-olds when they're just 4-5 years old... Shit... Those whoi are thinking of being childhood teachers.. think again mates... Ain't gonna be easy... Really... Looking at how notorious my brother is, i recommend you be a nurse instead of a teacher... Cos at least you get scolded by adults and not young kids.. How embarrassing... =))

Haha.. which reminds me again... Bryan was like shouting at my mom while she was on the phone.. And my mom scolded him straight in the face.. Haha.. And he got pissed.. And i was laughing at him.. And he shouted at me... he said "Why you laughing?? Huh?? Mummy's very angry and im also very angry.. So why you laughing?? Im very angry you know??" Haha.. And the table beside ours was laughing their asses off... Fuck my brother can be such a cute ass sometimes.. Especially when he praises himself... Y'know he goes "Im very smart right??" When he does something right... Haha... Effin clever...

Hmm, enuf of happy things lah.. I gtg.. Bye!

HARRIS ISKANDAR!!! READ THIS!!! Haha... Harris harris... See.. Now i blog about you.. WHERE'S MY TREAT?!?!? Damn rich guy.... Haha... =) Dun think reccession only can avoid it.. =) Sigh... I can't believe harris... I mean how many guys that i like before can still be friends with me?? Haha... He's cool lah... But sometimes to me like some small little kid.. But now like all grown up alr.. Haha... Man of iron fist or something...

I've done a little CNY shopping this couple of days.. With my mom... Bought this super nice top from forever 21... Haha.. Cost alot but i love love it!!! Hmmm, not like anyone cares lah... Yepps... Today i went out with Stacy and Jesmine and Jessie.. went to eat pasta at pastamania... Jesmine's treat.. THANKS JESMINE!!! =) Was fun...

Before that went to shop abit with my mom.. She took leave today... Yah... Bought a top to match the skirt i bought yesterday... Sialah... I feel guilty spending so much.. But eff lah.. CNY.... Kau!

I haven't bloody do my school work.. Sucks so bad.. I've been taking short glances at those bloody worksheet but i still dunno where to start... Urgh.. Its worse that my friends all haven't do also.. Giving me more reason not to do... shit...

Haha.. Watched a hindi show yesterday... Kuch kuch hota hai... Dek introd-ed it to me... =) I loved it!! It was so nice... I loved it... the lead guy was Dek's favourite hindi actor... she's absolutely in love with him.. Well, only yesterday i kinda think he was a little hotter than he used to be in my mind.. =) thanks dek... I love that little poot... =)

These past few days i've changed a couple of names on my hp contacts... New names??? Adek is one... Baby is the other.... Hmmmm. shan't elaborate.... Haha... Today i talked to Stacy on how we have total different personalities... And she can imagine really funny stuff about me.. But i cant imagine her doing likewise... And i found out how both our minds work.. Haha... =) That was a great talk.. Thks Teddy!

Hmmm, i really have nth to blog anymore now.. Minds in complete blankness.... Haha.. cya!

I've been seeing pple change their blogskins one after another.. And im having the temptation to do so too.. But im too bloody lazy for that... =D

Well yeah... 10 days without blodding has been er... the same.. Blogging is NOT my life afterall... These past few days i've been doing lotsa thinking, especially late at night when i freakin cant get to sleep... Yeah.. And thus i always end up with something in my head every morning when i awake.. I miss the feeling of blank-ness in my brain when i wake up... Things have been pretty rocky here on my side... I apologise if i hurt anyone in the process.. Especially friends whom i've neglected...

Hmmmm, i've also been going out almost every single day with my friends.. Watched King Kong yesterday with clar and my bro.. MOVIE OF THE YEAR!!! Really.. Its sooo friggin' nice!! Maybe its cos i forgot the entire plot of the show cos this is the remake... But i tell you, the show is sooooo bloody nice!!! I loved every part of it.. It was a three hour movie but NEVER was there a part where it was dull... NOT EVEN CLOSE!!! =)

Well, anyways, yesterday was s'pose to pass Aslam the harry potter book but i friggin forgot to bring it.. Haha.. It was hilarious the way i found out.. Haha.. But im so sorry.. Felt so bad.. Plus i was late!! HAha.. Damn.. My timing these days are over the top!! I used to NEVER be late.. Always the first one to reach the meeting point.. NOW?? Now im always the last... Im always late!!! Why?!?! Sigh... Haha..

Well, i gtg eh... Blog again soon i hope.. Toodles!

Well, when life gives you shit.. Eff' it right back..

Now? Im effing screwed.. I dun wanna elab.. Im sorry... I guess now im gonna hibernate... Yeah.. Im gonna miss talking bout how i screw up my life here.. Yeah.. I'll be coming home soon babies!! Wait up!! =) I want some bloody chocolates!!!

Well, i cant get to sleep.. So i found a couple of "quizzes" to take.. Look how bored i am.. Haha...

Truth is,
1) Im feeling pessimistic and wish for the world to end.
2) My life isn't as screwed as i describe it to be.

I hate,
1) Things..
2) People..

I made,
1) someone cry..
2) instant porridge for breakfast..


I took,
1) my life and threw it in the bin...
2) care of nothing...

Most of the time I,
1) cry....
2) feel like shit..

I hate eating,
1) brinjal
2) bitter gourd

My all time favourite is,
1) humour
2) food

In 15 minutes time,
1) i'll start on the 2nd quiz
2) post this stupid entry...

Tomorrow's plans are,
1) i dunno...
2) still planning....

People on my mind, randomly choosing in 3 seconds,
1) Aisvarya.
2) Aryani.
3) Daniel.

Three songs to sing,
1) LMNT- hey juliet
2) Carpenters - Mr postman
3) Eamon - fuck it(dun want you back)

I really want to,
1) Start doing sports...
2) sleep...

I think,
1) i should lose the tension...
2) i should study harder and get good grades
3) im not ready for love yet....



Shit.. Something cropped up.. I'll do the other thing next time.. Ciao for now!

Okays.. Back from bangkok.. Was fun being there... Yah.. And can you believe it? I've just been back for less than 24 hours and my life's back to the normal shit. Haha.. I so wanna be in First hotel sleeping now... Yah. I just realise how nice it would be if i can just leave Singapore and go start afresh at some secluded country where nobody knows me.. Yah.. Only people ill contact is probably My family and my VGs and my ex-besties... Fuck.. Life is screwed over again by the sweet scent of reality... How nice it would be if im still in thailand.. Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the thai king.. And to Hisyam... Yeah... Happy HAPPY birthday to you guys while im here struggling with my porblems... Yay!!!!

Haha... Im effing bummed to the max!! But i feel like meeting my VGs... I so wanna see them.. Wanna give them wat i bought for them... And i wanna hug them and tell them i miss 'em... But none of the above i can do.... Bcos i can do nothing... Yes... Today isn't as good as i tot it would be.. During the flight home i imagined it to be one perfect day.. Yah.. I was soooo wrong.... How can two pple that is in love quarrel after three days w/o each other? How can someone that ask me to do something not lead by example?? I kinda doubt it when this [articular person say he doesn't want me to die... Haha.. Just when i tot everything was right on track.. Yah.. Maybe only when i was in thailand huh? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Shit happens i know.... =)

Pple will ask.. Mandy are you alright? Why dun you talk to me about it? Are you ok? Dun cry. Be strong! Dun let this bring you down.... But thanks people.. You just made my life so much better... Haha.... Its funny how this world works.. Words are in the end, just words....

I wanted so bad for today to be a happy one.. To forget wat happened last night... And then something else gotta happen to spark this shitty feeling... Haha... I soooo love the pple around me... I sooo wanna die.... Haha.. I've been saying that since i dunno when.. But i lack the guts to jump.... I lack the guts to really take the god damn knife and slit it so deep my hand falls off... Yah.. I fuck myself up evryday just bcos i cant die... Haha.. PLS! Let me walk on the road one day and get some nice car to knock me down. So at least my parents get the insurance shit... Yah... Haha... You know now?? Nobody really cares if i say i wanna die.. Cos i've been saying it way too often.. But they dun see me dying do they??? Same sentiments pple.. We share the same tots....

I just learnt how to worship Enya's music.. Wow.. She is one amzing talented person i tell you.. She brings out the emotions in me... She touch a part of my heart that i dun think have been exposed since so long ago.... If only i was living IN the songs and not only listening to them eh? Haha... Technology have to soar for that to ever happen.. Haha...

Im bored at home.. Everybody's out... Bryan's just so near yet im too lazy to even walk over. Yah. Cos my mom told me my grandma's friend saw me with my "bf" at the bus stop. Which is weird bcos i dun even have a bf now... Haha... But i got a feeling i know who they're talking about... Sigh... And i dunno how my mom feels but i was this close to telling her everything then i stepped back. Cos my heart says go mandy go!! But my mind just went, urgh just forget it lah.... Haha... So i guess mind over matter eh??? Perfect phrase... Lol.... I wanna skip the drag of explaining everything to my family and friends and for once just SHOUT!!!!!! Yah.. Shout and not have the neighbours thinking im crazy.. And shout without my next door auntie coming over to see wats wrong... I wanna shout and hopefully my guts come out and i die so disgustingly my soul will come back and haunt the house!!!!!

And i also want a crumpler bag... Haha... Nah.. Im over this kinda shit.. I wanna get a tattoo instead.. I wanna create havoc around my house.. Haha.. Like as if its not messed up enough... I wanna be a talkshow in my family.. I wanna be the black sheep of the house... I wanna be 12 again.. I wanna rebel.. I wanna dye my hair any colour i like... I wanna spend money like nobody's business.. I wanna smoke.... I wanna take drugs.. Have sex... evrything... Then i wanna just lie down in bed and see how my family hates me and die... HAha.. Nice theme for a drama serial... Too bad.. My life's not dramatic enough... Yah.. Being the black sheep in the family kinda fels fun now... I wanna do it so bad... But in a way, if i come to think of it.. I'll be hurting lotsa pple in the process... So we shall just skip all the hurtful stuff and go straight to death eh? HAha... Eh, those outside who are hating me and thinking im such a FSWB, its ur best chance.. Drive a car... Know whcih road ill be crossing, then just knock me down.. And dun feel guilty.. If the cops come, tell 'em i told you to do so... Evidence? This post itself... Haha.... Really.. No joke.. Im serious... If you got the guts to do it.. KILL ME!!!! Sucker....

Im running out of sadistic things to say... And pessimistic things to say... So lets all be optimistic for a moment!!! Weeeee~ I braided my hair in thailand!!! I spend lotsa money!!!! I sooo love to dance!!! I love sunshine and blue skies!!! I love the bright shiny stars then twinkle at night!! I'd like tto teach the world to sing in perfect harmony!!! Woooooooooooo!!!! Yeee hah!!!! Little donkeys and cute little monkeys dance around while the cow jumped over the moon and the cat played the fiddle!!! Yay!! Humpty dumpty so loved the wall which he fell over!! cos he made the knights came!!!! How hott the knights would be!!! Haha.... The rain will fade!! And the silver lining will reveal itself!! And with every naughty tot i have!!! I will go thru with it and i will end up stronger than ever!!! Weeeeee~~ I so have many more things to say but eff it! Im going to sleep. Pls.. Let wilson come back and find me dead in my bed... =) Good day all!!!

Well, im going to bangkok tmr for a few days.. Hmmmm, Gonna buy sooo many things... Woooo!! Haha.. I met Krush today.. Was so god damn fun!!! Wooo! We laughed our ass off at the slightest thing. Was nice seeing her after so long... Another person im yearning to spend some time with is Ais.. Really... I miss her a whole lot... Logen too....

Sigh... Friendship is a rather complicated matter.. Same goes with love matters.. All a piece of screwed up shit... But life's like that.. I either live with it or die. I dun have the courage to die so might as well live with it. No other choice. Haha...

How can ONE person complicate my life so bad? Yah... ONE!! Just one effing person can bring me down so hard i think im having a concussion... Yes... How can i be so careless? How could i have succumbed to that temptation and cause myslef so much harm.. I sooo gotto thank that person the next time, It was a nice good lesson.. A painful one.. That's dragging til now.. But he opened my eyes... Hur hur.. Eff....

Yah... Trust me.. You think family issues are the easiest to deal with? If you're me, you so got to think again.... Family issues are my number one most difficult to handle.. Yah.. But there's nobody to blame except me... I let myself into the hole and now i cant get out.. I built that wall around us and now i've lost all means of contact with 'em.. Who's to blame...?? Haha.. I guess its all on me now huh? I either fight all the way thru, give up and let it solve by itself, or just effing DIE!!! Haha... Death is always lingering in my mind but it never really stays... Dammit... Always brought up high and then dropped and stepped on.. Damn i sooo love my life right now...

I love my life.. I love myself and i love every bloody thing on earth.. Damn.. Im such a liar... But well, if it helps keeps me alive might as well live in self denial... No harm.. Or maybe not for the moment... Every life there's bound to be a little screw up... Yah... But if you keep screwing up and not do anything, you better WAKE UP and smell the sweet air of reality or for shit your life's gonna go down down down like mine... Haha..

Wooooo! The above mentioned? I call it self pity.. DO NOT i repeat DO NOT follow in my footsteps.. Self pitying is not only dangerous.. It can also lead to depression.. Yes.. I so need a therapist right now.. Pls! Throw money from the sky for me so i can go see a therapist!! Pls!!! Haha.. Effing.. the therapist probably will tell me to stop doing whatever im doing cos its not gonna help... Or maybe my therapist might actually send me to a better therapist.. Ok.. Eff.. I got to get a REAL therapist first then talk.. Im broke for shit's sake...

Nth's really gone wrong if you guys are curious.. Nth really bad happened.. Its just one long draggy ride on a bloody rollercoaster track.. Yes.. And im afraid of heights... Wooooo! Shouldn't i be doing my a maths hw now? Damn.. Ok.. I'll do it after the trip to thailand... Damn. Procrastination.. Mandy's best talent... Im so not gonna do it, wanna bet? And ill end up dropping A maths and probably dropping out of school then die.. Haha.. Wait... No... Ill definitely continue schooling... I dunno why.. But i will.... =)

Shit im tired... Haha.. Not gonna say the same thing again... "Im tired of life"... Nah.. I have had enough of that bull from myself.. Tired?? Tired means nth now... Scared means nth now... For now? This is just it.. This is IT!!! You see it, then think what you think, do what you must...

*I wish it would rain*

Hmmm ,goodnight forrest gump... You inspire me.... =) Gdnite my VGs.. I miss you, BIGG TIME!!! Gdnite all.... And so long... I wun be blogging for many more days to come... Maybe its time i hibernate and metamorphorsise into something new..... Maybe i should start anew... Only if i can... Haha!!! Basically, Goodnight...