Happy new year to all you tooties out there!! Have a wonderful and blessed new year ya'all!!

Hmmm, well my new year will be spent at Esplanade.. The usual... Gosh... I think Esp is a rather exciting place to chill at. You get to see all kinds of people there. Like seriously, everyone from everywhr goes there. Haha.. But its scary to be alone there sometimes... everyone is in groups. Some in HUGE groups... Lol...

I can't sleep again. What is it called? Amnesia? Im losing slp man. And im not even talking to him on the phone. HEY! that's probably why!! Im too used to listening to his voice before i sleep thats why i cant sleep!! Why am i so dumb?!?!? Sigh.. What to do. He's probably so tired and sleeping now... Or maybe not.. How would i know?!?!?

Ok... I think im going nuts cos of boredom... There's really nth much to talk about. I bought a dress... I think i just realise i look fugly in it. But too bad i bought it already. I also bought a few new tops. whats with me and the colour black now? Have they really influenced me? Well ill never be an emo girl though. Maybe just black dressing but no emo stuff... I rather wear plain black tees... =)

Sigh im really bored... HELP!!!

Boringism... There's nth to do or say.... Bye...

How am i suppose to feel now? Im so confused. I initiated it. But now i feel that tad bit of regret bcos i miss him. I wanna call him but that would be like breaching of the contract. I wanna sms him say i miss him and all but then again that would be breaching of the deal. It was suppose to be about space. If i continue wat i used to do, what more space can there be? He's suppose to be having a good time. Is he? Im suppose to think about what our next step should be. Am i? Im tired of thinking. Sigh...

Anyway i brought Bryan out to Suntec City today. Played arcade. that boy just couldnt get enough of Tekken. Just like my sweetheart. Anyways, after that we went downstairs to look at toys. And my brother and Clarissa came to join us. Then we went on to LJS to makan. Bryan refused to eat the fries and i had no idea why. their fries were SEDAAAAP! Esp with tartar sauce. =) after that My brother went to bring Bryan to the arcade again to play Tekken again. While Clar and I went shopping. We then proceeded to Kiddy Palace where Bryan played for awhile and then we went home. Bryan kept on complaining he was tired. Gosh i swear i was pissed off by his complaining by the time we were walking to the bus stop to head home.

Yeah i know it was kinda boring. Guess there was some things bothering my mind. Plus i didnt have enough money to treat Bryan to more arcade games. So we just had to settle for small things. Well i was wishing he was there with me, Farhan. We said it before we were suppose to go together to play tekken. but i guess it doesnt apply now. =(

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AMBER PACIFIC - GONE SO YOUNG
I never dreamt it'd be this way
I've lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you,
say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I'm okay
I wasn't prepared for what's to come
A life made of memories gone so young
And now I'm regretting all I've done
But in your heart know that I'm with you all along
Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight
I never thought that this could go
And take me away from all I know
And leave me to think I'm on my own
But your love will take me, you were the one......
Who sat through nights
You held me tight
And made sure I'm okay
And I thank you for the love you gave to me
Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight...Tonight...
Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
And if I should fall, I know you're waiting
And if I should call, I know you're there
If ever you cry just know
I'm in your heart tonight...
I'm in your heart tonight....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah.. I dunno where im standing now. I dunno what i mean to anyone right now. I dunno what i should feel what i should say or do. i dunno what to do. I dunno how to handle all this. I dun even know what im doing...
(Gosh baby if you read this pls help me... I need help... help...I love you ... )

Ok... Bye pple. for all those who sms-ed me to ask if i was okay. Thanks. You guys give me more courage to move on. =) For all those who hoped i was okay. thanks for your thoughts. =) I hope i won't disappoint you guys... =) Love ya'all....

Back from OBS on friday.. OBS killed me. Alomst, at least... but im kinda recovered by now. Physically im recovered. But emotionally im getting some get backs for being away from everything for so long. 5 days.. Sigh...

I came back hoping all would be fine.That everything would welcome me back with open arms. Adding to the fact i was thoroughly burnt and my back hurt and everyinch of me hurts like fuck. I thought i would be glad to be home. Only to find myself in a deep piece of shit again. i dunno how to handle. Sigh.. I shouldn't write on anymore... I should just go blog on the other blog i have. =( Im tired. Im sad. I wanna give up. I can't. I said i wun, so i wun... Give me a break. PLS!!!

Im going away for 5 bloody days for OBS camp. 5 days without my usual routine. i think i've gotten so used to my recent life style that im afraid for a change. I really have no idea how im gonna handle 5 days without the usual stuff. Damn.

I haven't even pack my bag for the camp yet and its tmr. gosh im fucking too slack and lazy to be god damn true. I need to whack myself in the head. Shit. You should see my room now. fly are starting to breed i tell you. It's disgusting but i swear, im to bloody lazy to do any packing up. Urgh if only i had a personal manager of my life. I would slack more!! Wahahaha....

So 5 days without being with my baby is as good as 5 years without food. Lol. We haven't been without each other for so long. I mean totally no connaction at all is like we dun exist. But well he'll always be in my heart and mind. Damn am i gonna miss him so much. I wish i didn't sign up for it. But then again i wanna have that experience. But dammit!!! Im really gonna miss that poots alot. sigh. I dunno... Im also worried that he might, y'know? Get bored. I mean i know guys... they get bored easily and they HAVE TO find something to entertain them. And moreover my baby is a total anti-boring person. i cant help it. Im gonna be so paranoid. What the hell is he gonna do in the next 5 days?! Hopefully nth bad.... Sigh.... I hope he's mature enough to think for us both. I dun wanna come back again just to freaking find out something bad. =( Im scared lah... Dammit...

hmmm, went for total metalcore batallion 2 gig today. Was great. Tried ABIT of moshing and stuff like that. Was great. The first part was a lil boring cos i just sat down and did absolutely nth. I slept though, on the comfy sofa. Duh~ It was so comfy. Haha. After that my sweetheart was the BEST! He took me out to the mosh pit area and it was kinda the first time i was up close to the stage where the bands were performing. Moshing is fun... I feel like getting whacked... Bwhahahaha.... If i didnt get a slight taste of moshing, i probably wouldn't have gone for the next gig. Feels like a waste of money if i just go there to listen to loud music and sleep. =) but the music is always nice. Most of the timie anyways.. =) They played Apology by Alesana... that was great cos i like the song. If only they played Ex's and Oh's.. gosh i would totally die of happiness. my number one fave song for now.. Bwhahahahaha.....

aites aites. I gotta go pack my bags now then. Bye. =)