Hello all... I have been skipping school alot recently. Well 4 more weeks of blardy school and im done with my 2nd year. Somehow, i know i have to persist and i hope i will but the future seems bleak. I don't think i can stand comeing to school 4 times a week early in the morning and stay awake til night. And work's been a bitch too... By being fucking busy everytime i work. There's no chance to slack. Guess its a good thing....
Well recently felt so out of touch with the outside world. Like im all alone and nobody understands or wants to understand me. But i guess its just a phase of time. I kow i do have people around me who really do care and love me. Everybody got their own problems and own lives to lead, i've just got to be strong. I've always been, i just dunno whats wrong with me sometimes, and it scares me when i dun even know myself. =/ Am i even making any sense to you? Lol....
Aiden's being an angel, he took the liberty of asking if anyone wants KFC and so happens i DO want KFC and since he's riding to causeway point, he became my personal kfc delievery man for now. You know, sometimes its weird, you don't really know a person, but this kinda things, you really learn to appreciate from a stranger/friend. I seldom talk to Aiden, but apparently we will have plenty of chances to interact because!!!!! He's in my FYP team for next year, and Azim, who i noticed have been skipping school alot too. Haha... Anyways..... Thanks to Aiden i will be fucking filled by end of break-out 2.
i can smell my 2 pc chicken ALREADY. Lol.. cant wait. It's been eons since i ate KFC. HAha.. Sorry lah... Just that work is always chicken, and i'm sick of chicken and so is the boyf, so its been a loooong time i touched KFC (its very good though!!)
I pity my boyf. He has to help out his friend, mama, at her very popular bakery cos she's short handed. And although he's earning very good part-time pay there, i see that he's tired. He has to go early in the morning to the bakery, then in the afternoon he has to rush down to Brussels Sprouts to work his full-time ass off. Then when he comes back i demand he spend some time with me. Sometimes i feel really bad. But all i want is just lay there with me and talk about bullshit. Sigh... I dunno to pity him, or pity our relationship.
I understand, its sort of the peak of his career now, its all he ever wanted, to excel at work and prove to the bitch(ex-gf) that he's not good-for-nothing. But sometimes, maybe because im young and naive, i feel like i wanna fight with his job for him. Like im jealous his job gets more of him than i do. It's so stupid i know. But being young, i guess i want my boyf to spend ALOT of time wasting time with me. But he cant, cos he's got responsibility and i know he likes what he does. He's learning to be a better worker, a better leader and i know it will benefit both him and me. But at night when he comes home and just starts to sleep i realise we havent really talked all day. Messaging isn't really like talking. And we used to talk so much to one another. We tell each other everything. But now most of the time what i hear is that he's tired, he's sleepy, work is tiring and it was busy that night. Then it's can i smoke, then im very tired let's sleep. Of course there's the constant "iloveyou(s)" but i want talk like talk y'know?
Haiya. Fucking lor sor. I dun wanna elaborate too much. Just wanted to rant a little about life and work stuff. This is why everybody yearn to be rich without the need to put in any effort. Can we just skip to the end?? damn. Sometimes realy feel like not doing anything, give up, see what life can do to me, see how much lower god can bring me down. But then again, who am i disappointing? Sigh...
Ok. This was suppose to be a happier post. Im happy. I really am. My parents are talking again. My brother's still not in a good shape i guess. I really wish things pick up for him soon. I dun like seeing him in the dumps like that. He used to have that flare. Now it seems not so THERE anymore. Allen's been a greta boyf trying to do his best to pacify me and fulfill all my demands. I really appreciate everything he's been doing. And i appreciate my family for all the unspoken/sometimes unseen support they give. So i'm happy. Generally there's not much i should be sad about. Maybe except the death of my dearest grandparents, i think i should be a jolly good mandy. So everything should be fine. I just need to get over myself. Stop self pitying and stop telling myself life is a bitch and it sucks. Should be happy, right? Haha...
KK... Such a long post. Anyways, im doing a picture poster to put up on my wall to cover up ugly patches. So maybe if im in the mood you guys are up for some pictures too... =) Nothing new i think... Maybe ill take some new ones and put it up... =) tc. Loves.
