Hello... Here's some more pictures. From going out with Fateha and Aryani to celebrate Yeni's bday. It was awesome. And some random pictures. Including some pictures of our sky dining experience during Allen's bday. And desserts. =) Also some pictures taken at home after my older brother, Wilson graduated from Poly. It was hilarious. Moments that remind me how awesome my family is. =) Bryan's damn cute i swear.
OK! More pictures next time. The long over day at the beach with Yeni and Fateha maybe. Coming to this blog soon. =) toodles......!!!!
It hasn't been pretty lately. Going through quite a bunch of stuffs concurrently and i don't think my mental self i staking it very well. Sometimes i find myself going nuts at myself and in my mind im shouting bad words at myself telling myself how fucked up and stupid i am. I'm trying to stop myself looking at others and judging how they dress because i think that's stupid. It used to make me feel better last time but now it just makes me feel like shit. Maybe cos im an asshole.
Apart from that dateline for my Final Year Project is coming and i feel like im not doing enough. Not that i WANT to do anything, i just feel that im not doing enough. As the leader of the team i can say without hesitation that i suck and if we fail (which somehow i don't think we will), it's my fault. A LOT of things is my fault, apparently these days. A lot of things i do seem to be wrong either to me or to someone else. See, like i say maybe im going nuts.
I just realise that sometimes no matter how hard you try to manipulate someone to be who you want him/her to be. Sometime, the person that gets hurt in the process is yourself, not the person being manipulated. Because you KNOW what you're doing and what's happening. But the other person just thinks you're being an unreasonable bitch. It's easier to hate someone else than yourself. I wish i hate someone more than i hate myself but i don't have anyone in mind.
Randomly, i love Harry Potter. I just read the last two books in the last week to refresh my memory of the story. Honestly, i wouldn't mind being Ginny at the end cos they end up getting married, HP and Ginny. And have kids name Albus Severus? Haha. And Teddy is HP's god-son. And Ron and Hermione have a kid named Rose? Wtf. Really the names.... Just hilarious. Totally do not fit the glorious moments of HP before the end of the story.
I hope beyond all hope that one day a half giant would come and tell me im a witch and im being sent to Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Then i would find out that i was the baby that survived the dark lord voldy. And my true name isn't Mandy Low Ming Li but Mandy Potter. Haha. And i meet all the hott wizards in Hogwarts but fall in love with my best friends brother. And then i get married and half three children plus a god-child named, Teddy. So i don't die even though i fight the greatest dark wizard of all times, i become a legend, and i have a family with kids that will follow in my footsteps. going through all the emotional rides and fucked up moments would probably be worth it if i can do magic. I can "muffliato" anyone when i don't want them to hear wtv im saying. I can tongue tie the nag of a woman facilitator i have today. I can "Avada Kedevra" myself when im old and dying and don't wanna go through more pain. Haha.. I don't know what im saying. Sorry. Oh!
You know how sometimes you think people don't care about you? like how you just can't find anything someone do/did that proves that he/she cares about you? I think i yearn for too much attention or love. Sometimes i hit myself in the head cos i feel that i ask too much. I don't know. Maybe because of what ever happened in the past but i just feel paranoid and fucked up all the time. Bad things happen all the time. So how can i not feel like something bad is gonna come my way every turn i make? I have issues, with trust. I wish would just disappear. "REDUCIO!"
Some one please imperius my facilitator. And tell her to go home and let us go home and give us all A(s). I want to die.....
